


To My Beloved Wizard

by DevBasaa



Category: Swordspoint Series - Ellen Kushner, The Fall of the Kings
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-07 00:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/742103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevBasaa/pseuds/DevBasaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theron responds to the final events of his story with Basil with a letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To My Beloved Wizard

**Author's Note:**

> First posted to LJ March 2004 (archived to AO3)

To my beloved Wizard:

They tell me my mind has left me, and I suppose I can not fully repute their claims. However, insanity is not what I think ails me. Might it lend itself to insanity? I fear that is almost a certainty. Whether or not insanity lives with me now, however, is disputable, if only in the privacy of my own mind with my own thoughts and my memories of you.

In so many ways, I am no longer a whole man. Though your gifted necklace does not lay about my neck, the ritual we yearend to achieve had begun enough to give a sense of completion and a sense of discord. I am drawn to the Land. I am a part of it. And I have not touched it since the day you were lost to me. It is a pain that aches to my bones. It brings me such horrible yearning for a world I am likely to never see again. While Sophia promises a return to Riverside, I do fear my mind will not make it until that journey. Because for as much as I long for that Land again, I have lost my other anchoring entity.

I have lost you.

It is a different ache, brought by thoughts of you. An ache for your body, for your presence, for the taste of your skin upon my tongue. An ache nonetheless. In my mind, I replay our days together. Heated winter nights, tangled among your limbs and bed sheets. The loss of your presence kills me as deep as my separation from the Land. I often wish I might have died that day. There is nothing in this world for me now. I will be as crazy as my father before I shall see Riverside, the University or my country land again. My sister's plans for me bring me no solace. Sophia's love is no salve. That I might come to love her birth land, my father's second home, a place he cherished with his swordsman lover -- it is her wish, not mine. There was certainly a time when I wanted to visit, but that was before. Now the Land cries for me even as I write this -- I can hear it, feel it, taste it even. I belong there. But I belong there with you, and that cannot be. So, it is nowhere I belong and ultimately, it is this which will take my mind from me.

I said it to you once, my beloved wizard, and might I have had the chance to say it to you again, it would have been before an audience in awe of our joined beauty and passion. I love you. Like the Spring blooms every year, consistent and everlasting, that is the love I feel for you even now. We would have ruled beautifully together, my Basil. We would have been magnificent.

Your Ever-loving King,

Theron

**Author's Note:**

> In one sense, I loved this book. The beauty between Basil and Theron left me swooning over and over again. In the other sense, I was beyond distressed by the ending. Not even the obvious, actually, but the fact that we don't get any parting thoughts from Theron. I /needed/ his point of view at the end and we didn't get it. So. I wrote it.


End file.
